Jackie (grilldcheese47) wrote,
Jackie
grilldcheese47

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blah la la lovely

its been so dull up here. i went to my high school's senior talent show the night before graduation to see all my little theatre kids do their thang. it was wonderful - i think i cried more at their affirmation than i did at my own. i also went into Senior Clubhouse and saw a picture of me taped to the wall. Yes, they have a photo of me on the wall. i'm smoking a cig, swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels and giving the finger. even after i'm gone, i'm still the poster child for Madeira. crazy. oh, i also took care of my brother for the weekend. what a trying experience. that little brat is a pain in my ass, but God help him, cuz i still love him. being away from my mother was bliss, but living in my dad's sad excuse for a townhouse was down-right cruel and unusual. its strange, but im kinda glad to be back in the crazy lady's house. i believe the only thing she and i see eye to eye on is our standard of living.

i start one of my jobs - the boring one - tomorrow and i officially start at Vicki's next week. im hoping that my busy schedule will help me forget about the monotony of my summer life. ive been working hardcore every summer since i was 13...where's my summer vaca? i want to plan fun, exotic trips, but alas, all of that costs money. money i dont have. which is why i have 2 jobs. so if i travel its like im not working and then i'll be broke in the fall....its a vicious cycle.

today i went to target and bought this body wash that i used to use back in September and i used it today and i swear to you, i said to myself, "smells like first semester"...isnt it strange how strongly smell is tied to memory? i think its odd how you can go places and smell smells and totally have flashbacks to your childhood. i walked into this store and some guy was wearing this random cologne...i dont even know what it's called, but he smelled like my grandfather and i started to tear up. very strange.

                   ****you know you're day is sad when David Leong makes you smile. Ok, it was because I got my War check in the mail, but still....****

good news: i will be back in Richmond no later than August 6th. im excited, but still determined to kick this habit i have of living in the past. sure, last semester was possibly the craziest, most stressful, relationship-trying periods of my life. but i wouldnt trade it. if anything, it will make me a better person in the long run. especially the good parts near the end. i just wish i had jumped on that sooner. figuratively. well maybe not figuratively...overalls. awkward. oh here's one of my new things: i clean. im becoming rather obsessive. now, im not cleaning the entire house, no no, im just going through all the stuff i've packed away in my closet since the 6th grade. its a walk down memory lane and a chance for me to really and truly get rid of my past. two birds, eh? i just never realixed i had so.much.crap. what is the deal? i was a bit of a pack rat.. i should do this cleaning on a more regular basis. oh, im going to california on thursday. its a family cookout - my question is, why do we have to fly 3,000 miles to eat? my mom is making me go, even though i don't ever really talk to her side of the family much because they insulted me when i was young because i spoke correctly. its a shame that i have to go - i'd much rather sell bras and hang out with my friends all weekend. oh well.

my BIG bitch of the day: the price of gasoline. DEAR.GOD. i put 11 gallons of gas in my car and it cost me $25.41. That is absofreakinlutely too damn much. im gonna go broke just trying to go places. ok, all done.

i bought two books today at Barnes and Noble, and next to my War check, they are the most exciting thing in the world today. the idea of taking a hot shower and laying in bed eating something containing chocolate while reading sounds like a beautiful evening. I am such a nerd. the sad part is, these books are each about 200-300 pages...and they might last me till california. i dont know if that's a testament to my amount of free time, my amazingly fast reading abilities, or just more proof that im a nerd. probably the last one....

well im off to take care of my brother...i swear, it's like im his 3rd parent or something. he is making not want to have children.ever.

~ J

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